See you later, El Paso.

This is the one post that I have purposely been putting on hold. (Hint: I HATE GOODBYES) Towards the end of my time in El Paso, I really did not want to blog or "worry" about keeping the posts up to date. I also wanted more time to process my feelings and the experiences that have made the person who I am today. Needless to say, many many many wonderful events took place towards the end of our time in El Paso. These stories and events are all very special, and will be gladly shared if anyone wants to hear them.

With this being the last post of the blog, I will just start off saying that this summer was the most unforgettable one I have ever experienced. From the beautiful youth that I worked with, to my sister-like roommates, to the Border Servant people in general, to the faaabulous staff at Cristo Rey, to the friends I met from the community, to the experiences we had all over El Paso and in New Mexico... there were so many components that made this summer blissful. I didn't fully realize this until I came back, but it changed my life and how I view everything. However, during everything, there were two key ideas that really struck me. These would be the power of human connection and faith in humanity.

Human connection is a beautiful thing that we are all given the first day of our lives. We are constantly presented with opportunities to make friends and grow in relationships. These relationships act as bridges into other perspectives, cultures, worlds, languages, etc etc. Often times we do not use this to our full advantage; strangers are made by people who are afraid to be friends. We "know" people in and surrounding our life, but until we take the time to get to know their story and culture, we don't really know them. I've been guilty of this, so I'm not blaming or pointing fingers. I think it's safe to say that we have all done this at some point. Luckily, this summer changed my entire opinion, and I will no longer ever put up walls. El Paso introduced me to people who were new friends, youth in the program, and the families in the community. However all of these people turned into my family. Not all of us speak the same language, but they are still my family. They were the people who I talked to everyday (all the time), and we quickly grew close and turned our relationship into a much more meaningful one. We would discuss the good and the not so good, the harsh realities and the sensitive topics, and our agreements and disagreements. We opened up to each other instantly and worked together for a common cause. Plus, you do not need to speak the same language as a friend in order to be friends. You can merely sit, stand, be in each other's presence in silence, with a sense of security and love in your hearts. Just being in each other's company can have so much power on the other, as well as emotional investment. You learn to communicate mainly in other ways, such as hugs, smiles, and tears. Human connection is a wonderful gift.

I think I mentioned this before in an earlier post, but the dominant population in El Paso is 83 or 85% Latino. So yes, El Paso is heavily influenced by Mexico's traditions and ways of life - which I love! The culture in El Paso is extremely relational. It is all about affection, reaching out, sharing, and doing acts of kindness. The best part about the acts of kindness is that these are not done to make someone a "better" or "nicer" person. They are done because it's what is right and what you should do in order to contribute to humanity. It's second nature, not even thought about, and the season of giving is all year round. I saw this every single day in El Paso. You're probably thinking, "Ok, ok...but WE are relational as well." Well yes, I do know that, but it is VERY different and more apparent down there. You greet others with a hug and kiss on the cheek, you ask how the person is doing because it's what is nice to do, not just to raise small talk. It's almost like people actually care to know how you're doing...what a concept! If someone needs help, you jump right on it and help them. If someone needs you to give them a ride somewhere and if you have somewhere else to be, you make time and take the person to where they need to go. For those who have enough, they are always giving and wanting to make change in injustices. For those who are short of what's necessary, they are always giving anyway. The relational culture and openness to be affectionate really showed me faith in humanity.

As strange as this sounds, it can be really difficult to love humanity, even though it's easy to love people. The people in El Paso showed me, however, that it is possible to have faith in everyone. This was shown to me in the organizations that we visited that cater to border awareness and resources, the border immersion groups we met and worked with, my roommates who came down to El Paso for the same reason and purpose, and the fact that there are people who are constantly giving and showing love and kindness when they themselves are struggling to get by. Humanity is beautiful. It does not need to be divided according to religion, race, age, gender, or economic class. It is only bound together by love, understanding, and showing selflessness towards each other. How lucky are we to be living in a world where all of that is present in the areas where it (especially) counts.


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I would like to take time to list the moments that I will surely never forget. (no special order)

1. June full moon (6/23/2013) at White Sands in New Mexico. I loved everything about that night...such a natural, high/happy feeling. Justin, Erika, Erin, Lilli, Ariella, Rose Mary, Fernando, Sharon, Allexa, Aria, Kirsten, Hannah, Michael, Felipe, Rick, and Karen.
2. Carlsbad (Carl's BAD, as Erika says :)) Caverns in New Mexico. Hannah, Erin, Erika, Lilli.
3. My first day working at Cristo Rey, aka washing dishes with Erin in the back kitchen...but sharing some of the best conversations while washing dishes
4. My first day working at Cristo Rey as the program director - Erin, Justin, Rose Mary, Ceci, Conchita, Enrique, Pat, and 55 youth who now hold a very special place in my heart.
5. The day when Erin and me took Rose Mary's car to post flyers of the program at UTEP and EPCC; aka, the day we almost drove into Mexico!
6. Carmen sharing her powerful and beautiful story. The most selfless person I know.
7. Laura, Norma, and David sharing their impacting and admirable immigration stories.
8. Visiting the border and talking with border patrol (both times) - Hannah, Erin, Erika, Lilli; Justin and the border immersion group from Albuquerque
9. Community night with Lilli, Erika, and Erin - GREAT social justice talks, games, margaritas, karaoke, midnight Micky D's
10. Hiking A Mountain - BSC El Paso & BSC Las Cruces
11. Hiking Star Mountain - Erin, Lilli, Erika, Hannah, Justin
12. Black Forest's goodbye dinner - Aria, Kirsten, Hannah, Justin, Erika, Ariella, Carmen, Rose Mary, Fernando, Pat, Bobby, Karen, Rick
13. Sitting out on the couches with Lilli and Justin, eating ice cream out of the bucket and talking about life.
14. Sitting out on the couches with Erin and Erika, talking about life and watching New Girl...and attempting to watch the Bachelorette
15. Making ice cream with the kids during the program! So fun!
16. Taking the kids to the El Paso Exploreum
17. Wet 'n Wild! That whole day was so wonderful and carefree! I loved every single moment of our time there.
18. Going rock climbing for my very first time out in the Franklin Mountains. -Megan, Andre, and Erin
19. The beautiful mountains surrounding the city. And how they looked with the clouds resting on top.
20. Rim Road view, and being able to look at two cities/countries at the same time. :)
21. Kinley's with Megan and having teacher talk, as well as friend talk :)
22. Car dancing with Freddy, Edith, Daniela, and Julia in the Cristo Rey van. Thrift Shop, Get Lucky, Blurred Lines, and Treasure will forever remind me of those four.
23. The way that Ceci greeted me everyday (always made me smile). Such a cute lady.
24. Late night watermelon runs to Q-Mart -Erin and Erika
25. The sending off service at Cristo Rey for the Border Servant interns - Erika, Erin, Ariella, Rose Mary, Edith, Freddy, Angel, Angeles, Alan, Jennifer M, Roxy
26. The last service I was present at Cristo Rey - Erika, Ariella, Rose Mary, Michael, Michelle, Norma, Fernando, Pat, Bobby
27. Thursday pool days with all of the kids! Madness I tell ya.
28. Taking the kids to Gardin de Milagros - our last field trip.
29. The last day of the summer program - piano concert and many, many pictures and conversations with the families.
30. Saying goodbye to Carmen...that was a truly sad moment that had both of us in tears. I miss her so much.
31. Erin playing the Cristo Rey piano!
32. Lilli's beautiful singing voice and words of wisdom.
33. Erika and me starting all conversations in this dialogue: "Heeeyyyy...HI."
34.  Spending the 4th of July with Erin, Lilli, Erika, and Sha, and the amazing fireworks show that took place right above our heads. So beautiful!
35. The drive out to Gardin de Milagros...watching Justin drive us all out there successfully and lead a caravan of 4 other cars = priceless!
36. Justin's "jokes," "insults," playful personality, monstrous hugs, and HUGE heart.
38. Office talks with Justin
39. Going out to the colonias - especially the day when Erin and me went with the border immersion group from Albuquerque. This isn't my only favorite memory from that visit, but setting up that basketball hoop for the kids, and watching the men completely confused by the directions was priceless and entertaining.
40. The Cristo Rey van in general...and all the time it broke down. I miss that clunker, and all of its character. Good times feeling like we're all going to die at any given moment, Erin, Erika, and Lilli! They see us rollin...they hatin...! :)
41. My first time driving the Cristo Rey van...and Justin's patience during that time. So funny.
42. Amy's sense of humor! I have never met anyone with similar humor as this girl. Such a goof! :)
43. Learning how to make gorditas with Carmen, Erin, Erika, and Lilli.
44. Hannah's distinct laugh - I love it!!
45. Blasting the radio in the kitchen and dancing around with the teenagers after program.
46. Learning how to make bread from Greer :) -Greer, Lilli, and Justin.
47. Freddy telling me that his baby pictures looked like Justin Bieber....but "ten times hotter."
48. Little David..I love that kid so much! Such a cutie.
49. Luis at the piano recital introducing his song. "Hi, my name is Luis, and I'm going to...(kid from audience: play!) play, uh....(kid from audience: the piano!) the piano."
50. The first day in El Paso, and how Erika and me almost died from the heat after 6 hours walking downtown. "This is one of those days that we're going to look back on and laugh about!" -so true, Erika!
51. Lastly, the middle and high schoolers who I worked with at Cristo Rey. I use to not really enjoy that age bracket, but man did my thoughts change fast after working with these amazing youth! Ariella, Edith, Freddy, Daniela, Leslie, Lupita, Michelle, Michael, Armando, Miriam, Carlos, Jennifer M., Itzel, Felipe - I love you all very much and am so proud of you! You are a wonderful, fun group. Minnesota or Texas, I'm always here for you, and will never forget any of you.


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My last day in El Paso was emotional and memorable. I went to church at Cristo Rey with Erika. I saw some of the kids from my program there, too! We sat out on the couches afterwards with Erin, Ariella, Megan, Michael, and Michelle. As people started to leave, I said my goodbye and gave many many hugs. They all thanked me for all of the hard work that I put in this summer, and I thanked them for taking me in and making El Paso feel like home. Megan asked if anyone would be up for an early morning goodbye breakfast before I headed to the airport. I felt blessed to hear that people wanted to come. :) The plans were solidified, and I felt loved, happy, and sad to be leaving these amazing friends who quickly became my family.

After service, I began my cleaning responsibilities. I had the main kitchen areas: counter, stovetop, and oven. Ariella stayed with me in the kitchen and we chatted while I cleaned. It helped make the process go by fast, and it was also wonderful talking with her. I then decided that it would probably be good idea to start packing...even though I really didn't feel like it. Erika and I both got our suitcases out and began to pack up our things in the sanctuary. We did this for awhile, and had many great conversations, as usual.

After I spent some decent amount of time packing, Rose Mary took Ariella and me to Village Inn (where we went to the first time we all talked) for a meal. It was great being able to sit down and talk with them. Rose Mary and Ariella are both very easy to talk with. I miss them both very much. We were there for about 2 hours. It began to rain as we were leaving - which is rare in El Paso. It was perfect rainy weather, and made me just want to relax and unwind. Rose Mary drove us back to the church. I gave Rose Mary a hug goodbye, and thanked her for everything. It was a wonderful summer having the opportunity to work with her.

The roommates and I went out to dinner at L & J Cafe. It is a cute Mexican cafe, and the food was awesome! I knew that I was not going to find good, authentic Mexican food for awhile. I still miss the food. The four of us had some outstanding conversations about our time at Border Servant, how much we've learned over the summer, and what we're most looking forward to doing when we're back home. It was a fun dinner, but a sad one. I miss my roommates a lot, and eating meals with them. In the past I have not been the best roommate to eat dinner with, usually due to schedule conflicts. I have eaten on my own time that works for me. These ladies were different though. My day did not feel complete if I did not sit down and eat with them. I'm not sure what changed with these roommates, but I'm very glad the change happened. I still look for Erika, Erin, and Lilli during the days. :\ The days are not the same without our conversations and quality time. As Erin put it, I'm so glad it was them who became my family. This summer would not have been the same. Erin, Erika, and Lilli, you 3 will always be considered a part of my family.

The four of us took a drive to Rim Road together, and shared one last view. This was the view that we saw our first night together. It was a beautiful moment. The city was dark but alive. The mountains looked very bold and clear against the clear night sky. It was also the perfect temperature to stand outside and admire the city. We stood on the edge of the road and shared one last group hug together. After about a half hour of being there, we kissed El Paso and Juarez goodbye. I will never forget that view and how beautiful it always looks. It's a rare and gorgeous opportunity when you are able to look out at two countries at the same time. It's an opportunity that I hope to have again in the near future. Erika, Erin, and I stayed up late and finished our packing. We blasted music and stayed in the sanctuary as our last night together. It was the perfect last night with the friends who helped and watched me grow over the summer. I watched all of them grow and change as well. We were all challenged in ways that we never thought possible. However, it made it a much more meaningful experience going through it all together.


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The next morning at 6:00 a.m. Erika, Erin, Lilli, Ariella, Megan, Hannah, and me went to breakfast together at The Lucky Cafe. It meant so much that they all came. :) We all had a wonderful time together! Throughout the breakfast, I kept thinking about all of the memories I shared with them, and how much they have all helped me grow. I kept thinking that I was really going to miss them, and that I truly enjoyed every single moment with them. It was the perfect last El Paso breakfast. :) We all had a group picture taken inside the Cafe (below) and then it was time to say the goodbyes and head off to the airport.

I gave each person a hug and immediately started to cry. As stated above, I hate goodbyes. I was especially sad because I am not sure when I'll see them next. The tears just kept coming out as I continued to give every person a hug. There was no turning off the emotions now. Megan and Ariella took me to the airport. As I was getting into Megan's car, I turned to Lilli, Erin, Erika, and Hannah and told them that I loved them very much. I couldn't stop tearing up in the car on the way to the airport. I couldn't believe that I was no longer going to see my roommates everyday. The thought seemed more odd than anything. I took in every last view of El Paso-especially the mountains. Megan tried to add humor and happy conversation in the car. It helped a great deal, due to the intense sadness that I was feeling. Justin called me in the car to say goodbye, and that he wished we could've said a proper goodbye in person. It made me tear up even more. By that point we had reached the airport, and my mind instantly took me back to the day I arrived in El Paso. I remembered feeling very excited and nervous, not knowing what I was getting myself into. Little did I know that my life was going to change, and my eyes and heart would be opened in many ways.

Megan and Ariella stayed with me in the airport to make sure that I was going to get checked in smoothly. The three of us had some great conversations about other traveling opportunities, and just talked about happy topics to lighten the mood. They walked me to security and then it was time to say goodbye. I gave them both a hug and more tears came. I thanked them for everything they had done for me this summer, told them that I was going to miss them so much, and that I loved them both. They said that all of the feelings were mutual, and that they would see me before I knew it. We went our separate ways and I stepped onto the escalator.


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I moved into my apartment on August 1, and have to still make it more "homey." It has been tough adjusting to life after Border Servant. The people, climate, weather (*sigh* humidity...), food, culture, city-scene, amount of nature (grass? what?!), etc seem more unfamiliar now. I know that it's going to take some time to adjust and process, but it's amazing that I had the opportunity to live in a different place for so long. I am very thankful for this summer and all the people who came into my life and opened new chapters. El Paso, you will always have my heart. See you later, and thank you for the wonderful adventure.

Day One in El Paso: Rim Road Lovin'

Back, from left: Ariella, Erika, Hannah
Front, from left: me, Lilli, Megan, Erin
Monday, July 29, 2013 at The Lucky Cafe. Jennifer's goodbye breakfast with a portion of her El Paso family.

My last day as summer program director: A very memorable day at Wet 'N Wild :)

My last day with the kids was spent at the Wet 'n Wild Water park in El Paso. It was an all day affair, arriving at the park at 10:00 a.m. and leaving when it closed at 7:00 p.m. Honestly: I had a freaking blast! I was a little worried that it wasn't going to be enjoyable, or just too chaotic to the point of being overwhelming. Surprisingly, neither of those feelings were felt at all!

I woke up at 8:00 a.m. to get all of the food and other packing list items ready to go. The kids started arriving at 9:00 a.m. It was adorable, one of the girls lives in the apartments across the street, and I happened to see her sitting outside, staring at the church holding her backpack. It reminded me of an anxious child waiting for Christmas. I couldn't help but smile seeing her sitting across the street, watching with great anticipation.

I kept telling myself throughout the morning that this would be my last day with the kids and their families. I knew that I had to enjoy every single moment of that day, and spend as much time with the kids as possible. I felt very sad knowing and telling myself this, because I couldn't imagine not seeing any of them everyday. When they arrived, I put on my happy face and made sure that I gave them every ounce of energy and attention that they deserved. Of course, some extra silly and goofiness was thrown in with the energy :)

Rose Mary and I had put the kids in groups the day prior, so we were all set to go when it came to telling the children who they were with as far as adults go. Erin drove the Cristo Rey van to the water park. The kids were so excited! It was absolutely adorable! I couldn't get over how cute they all were with their swimwear and happy faces on. Funny story: we got a little lost driving to the water park...ha! That would happen our last day driving the kids anywhere, right? :) We ended up accidentally taking a road that took us right along the Wet 'n Wild, but it didn't take us INTO the park...so that was great. As we approached the park, the kids were cheering (very loudly) "WET 'N WILD! WET 'N WILD!" and then it slowly started to get quieter and quieter and fade out completely as we drove right on by...it was pretty funny. We eventually rerouted ourselves and made it! (Story of our lives while driving around El Paso) There was a whopping 85 of us coming for the day. Big group. We found our spots at the tables, had the kids wait for their adults to gear up, and then headed on out for the fun! My group was Megan, Amy, Armando, Michelle, Hector, Carlos, little David, Luis, and Pablo. Ours was definitely the biggest one, but the boys were so fun to be with. We started by going to the wave pool. Amy's description of it could not have been funnier, or more true, "There are things floating around in there that you know shouldn't be there...bandaids, hair, you name it." When we got there, none of that nast stuff was present until about 20 minutes later. Justin's group was also in the wave pool, and our groups swam around together. Little David, poor buddy, got so cold! His teeth were chattering like mad and his lips were turning purple. It was only 78 degrees outside, so it was very chilly! Amy attempted to make David feel better...in her Amy-like way. She approached him with this work of art, "You wanna know what helps me feel warm?" *David gives Amy a blank stare* "Pretending you're a fish! Check it out. Hey, I'm a stingraaaayyy and I'm really warm!" *David gives Amy a blank stare, and then swims away* "Ok, you go ahead and practice on your own and let me know how it goes!" ...HA! Amy, if you're reading this, I love you haha I miss your humor so much. So yes, clearly David felt warmer after that. Justin ended up taking him back to the tables to warm up. Poor little guy...he was so so adorable though.

My group ended up going back to the tables to grab a quick snack, and then check out more of the slides. After going on many kiddy slides, we went back to the tables to eat lunch. There were hamburgers, hotdogs, and all sorts of barbecue sustenance. After we ate, we went on more rides with the boys, and took their pictures having a blast together. It was wonderful seeing all of the kids having fun just being kids. Once it was the parents' turn to take over watching the kids, all of the teenagers took Erin and me on rides. It was awesome! We jumped off of the "cliff" which goes directly into 8 ft water. We then went off of a white slide that cuts off less than halfway, and then you just drop into the 8 ft pool. Freddy and Edith tried the rock climbing wall, which was difficult for both due to the fact that the grips were all wet. Both of them just slid right off.

Erin and I were then taken to the carpet slide. You slid down on a mat and then just plopped right into the pool. This was actually a pretty hilarious ride! All of the kids said to Erin and me, "Miss, at a certain point, I'm going to get us all stuck so that we can all go down together at the same time, but don't tell the lifeguard." Edith went first, then Freddy, Lupita, Michael, Felipe, Daniela, me, and last was Erin. All of the kids were stuck when I got there, and I had a hard time holding on to the side of the slide to keep myself from breaking the chain. Suddenly, Erin comes zooming down and was going so fast that she actually went to the sides of the slide! It forced us to all let go of the side and just go down together in one big blob. It was so priceless! We all plopped into the pool at the same time and right on top of each other. We were all laughing when we got out of the water, and the kids really wanted to go down another time. Erin and I had promised Megan and Justin that we'd meet up with them. So we decided to head back to the tables.

Justin, Megan, Erin, and me decided to hit up more big people rides together. It was a blast! We went on the Vortex (I think that's the name of the one we went on?), the Toilet, another regular water slide, and then decided to head back to the tables to meet up with Erika and Lilly. We talked Ariella into coming with us as well. After we all had some downtime at the tables, it was Justin, Erin, Megan, Ariella, Erika, Ariella's friend Oscar, two sisters Sophia and Victoria, and me. We then focused on hitting up the tube slides. We all had a blast going down them and watching each other just plop into the water, as well as come out of the pool adjusting our suits! Ha! Weggies all around. Justin, Megan, Ariella, Oscar, and I decided to try the monkey bars. There were 4 monkey bars hovered over an 8 ft pool. Everyone made it across all 4 with the exception of Ariella and me, who made it to a whopping 2. Go us! :P We then decided that we were going to try the screamer!

The screamer is a slide that Erin, Justin, Megan, and me had been hearing for a long time. Usually in this type of context, "Miss, are you going to go down the screamer? You have to!" "Miss, one time a girl was going down the screamer and her top came off. There was a male lifeguard at the bottom, too." "Miss, you have to make sure that you go to the bathroom before you go down the screamer." The screamer is one of those slides that starts off slow with a tunnel over, and then just drops down. It is also the tallest, highest slide in the whole park. Justin, Megan, Ariella, Oscar, and I decided to be brave and go down. We were the "brave 5" and the others decided to sit out and go to the observation deck and watch us scream going down. It was a pretty high walk up the ride, which made me nervous. However, if I'm being honest, my greatest fear was that my top would come off. I told that to them all and they just laughed. It was the truth, though! Thankfully that did not happen! As we were going up, I asked "So...who is going first?" ...in unison, they all looked at me and were like, "Hey, Jennifer....wanna go first?!" Yup, thanks guys.

When we reached the top, I saw and heard that every person going down screamed. I told myself, "Try not to scream going down" Even though I did scream going down, it was great hearing all the Cristo Rey people cheering down at the bottom. All of the kids came up to me after and stated, "Miss! You should've seen your face! You looked like this! *makes a ridiculous face that was most likely very accurate*" I saw Megan, Justin, Ariella, and Oscar go down. It was wonderful taking that last fall with those friends. We have all taken many falls and chances together throughout the summer, so, in a way, it almost symbolized the end of our risk-taking as a group.

By the time we all reached the bottom, it was 7:00! I could hardly believe how fast the day had gone. I was expecting the day to seem slower, but it was over before we all knew it. We walked back to the tables and more kids kept asking us if we had gone on the screamer, as if we were the bravest souls on the planet. The Cristo Rey group all took a picture together by the stage. It was the last group picture we would ever take. I never saw the picture, but I know that it was beautiful just because of the people who were in it.

The whole group walked back to the tables and the kids organized their stuff. They then stood as a group right in front of me as Rose Mary took attendance. As I was staring out at everyone, I couldn't help but think, "This is the last time I'm going to see my whole summer group in front of me. I love them all so much." It was a sad self-talk that was going on, but at the same time I was thinking about all the unforgettable trips and experiences that our group had experienced together over the summer. I made sure that I enjoyed being able to look out at everyone one last time, and couldn't help but think that I was extremely blessed for having such a wonderful group of 55 kids this summer.

We all walked out to the vehicles and went on our way. I requested to drive the group back, as it would be the last time of me driving the kids in the van. Erin and I pulled up to the front of the water park and slowly saw our kids begin to leave. Some with their families, some with friends, and some in the other vehicles that came with us to the park. We made sure to say goodbye to them all, and hug them if possible. All of our kids piled in to the van, and I cranked up the tunes loud for everyone to dance/sing along to. Freddy's song, Get Lucky by Daft Punk, came on the radio, and Erin and me had no problem proclaiming it to Freddy. He had the biggest smile on his face when I looked back at him in the rearview mirror. The three of us sang and danced it out together, and it was so great. That whole car ride back to Cristo Rey was great. The mountains were around us, the sun was setting, and the kids were happy and wiped out from the day. It was one of those beautiful moments that filled us with content and joy.

My heart became very heavy when we reached the church. I turned off the van, opened the door for the kids, and told them that I loved driving them around this summer, and also that I loved them all. Some of the kids' parents were waiting there to pick them up already. David, Hector, and Pablo were the firsts to leave. I gave Pablo a huge hug and told him that I was going to miss him. David and Hector had walked ahead, but luckily Megan got their attention. She told them that they should say goodbye to me and give me a hug because they wouldn't see me for awhile. She said, "Miss Jennifer is going away for awhile." David's face sank into a sad frown. He gave me a hug and I hugged him right back. I immediately started crying when he said that he was going to miss me. It was uncontrollable, I just started crying, and then told him goodbye and that I'd never forget him.

I walked back in to the church with tears still in my eyes. Jackie, Carlos, Freddy, Daniela, and Julia were with us. We all hung out for a little bit at the church, and then it was time to take Freddy, Daniela, and Julia home. Erin and I gave Jackie and Carlos huge hugs, and told them that we were going to miss them a lot. They said that they were going to miss us too. It was tough saying goodbye to both of them. Jackie is such a firecracker, and always says THE BEST phrases in the best voice. She is such a hoot, and made Erin and me both laugh a lot this summer. Carlos is an overall really sweet kid. He has a very sweet, patient personality, and a caring heart. He was also always willing to lend a hand whenever it was necessary during the program. I loved getting to know Carlos over the summer.

Freddy, Daniela, Julia, Erin, Erika, Lilly, and I headed out in the van. Erin and I made sure to car dance with the kids. We took Daniela and Julia home first. Erin and I got out of the van and gave them hugs. We told them that we were going to miss them a lot, and they asked when we would be back to visit them. I truly hope it is soon. We then took Freddy home. I got out of the van and gave Freddy a huge hug. As I was hugging him, I told him that he was a fantastic person and that I was very proud of him. I then said that I was going to miss him a lot. Freddy responded with, "I'm going to miss you a lot too, miss." It broke my heart hearing that. It broke my heart saying goodbye to all of the kids. I miss them all very much, and think about them everyday.

Erin, Erika, Lilli, and I drove to El Taco Tote for a late dinner/snack. The car ride there was quiet and had a sad feeling. I was silently crying and letting all sad emotions out. It was so tough saying goodbye to the kids, not knowing when I'd be able to next see them. I think that is the biggest thing that made it tough for me, not knowing. I truly hate not knowing when I'll next see someone, especially when it's someone who I love very much.

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Being the summer program director at Cristo Rey was a huge blessing. I have worked with many wonderful children over the years, but I will be completely honest and say that I grew more attached to the kids at Cristo Rey. The culture of El Paso, in my opinion, is much more affectionate and emotional. This made the youth become more attached as well. There were times when I had to be strict and discipline, but it was only because I love them very much. I wanted them to learn from their mistakes and actions sooner rather than later on in life, when forgiveness is not offered. Love was always integrated into everyday and every plan. I learned that it is important to always be consistent and encouraging when given a role as a director. That might sound like common sense, but consistency is difficult to carry out when there are 55 kids to pay attention to. No matter what, the kids and their needs always came first.

I also had the privilege of growing close to the families. I heard some their stories of immigration and struggles, which almost strengthened our relationship. One of the main lessons that the youth taught me is that there is always a reason to smile and be happy. Innocence is something that can never be permanently taken away. Even with the middle and high schoolers, I saw a trail of innocence still present in them. If any of the middle and high schoolers are reading this, please know that I am always here for you. Minnesota or Texas, I am only a phone call away, and will always make time to talk with you!

The Cristo Rey youth will always hold a very special place in my heart. It was an honor being their summer director. I love them all very much, and will never forget how they changed my life.



( I unfortunately do not have any pictures from Wet 'n Wild. However, these are some snapshots from the final week of the program. You could say that we had a pretty fun week. :) )

Gorditas with Carmen

Carmen does it best

Love it! :)

Chef Lilly! and Creeper McCreepin

Making the meat for the gorditas!

My favorite cooking pal :)

This past Friday we had our community night that involved Mexican food. In other words, it was a good time. Carmen taught the four of us how to make her gorditas! Those things are just...sinful. For those who are not familiar with gorditas, they are basically like little tacos...that are fat. They become this way because you just keep stuffing lettuce, meat, potatoes, tomatoes, and cheese in them until they're full. To top it off, you have Mexican rice (which is really easy to make) and chile pods. So bad for your heart, but so good for your soul!

Carmen is such a wonderful, selfless woman. Hands down one of my most favorite people in the whole world. Carmen has voiced many times that she thinks of us as her four daughters. Here are some other warm and unforgettable statements that she expressed to us while we were cooking together:

"I'm going to miss our friendship. It's been a beautiful experience."

"I hope you return to El Paso in the near future. Or, you could just stay here...forever..."

"My home is your home. I will cook for you when you visit me at my house in Juarez."

"I hope you keep your friendship after border servant. I'm very proud of you and all of the work that you have put in this summer. You are all going to do amazing and great things in your lives."

Carmen is a very expressive, deep, and emotional woman. Although, let's be real, that is how a lot of Latino people are-they speak from the soul, and with so much passion in their voice. It's absolutely beautiful how expressive people in the Latino community are. They are very relational and personable, and bend over backwards to make family comfortable. I just love all of their kind hearts!

It was impossible not to cry when Carmen said those loving words, and it did not help that she gave me a huge hug. I am going to miss her so incredibly much. She has made such a lasting impact on me this summer. Before I came here, I use to have a hard time not turning into a negative Nancy when I was exhausted from my days at school. I tried my hardest to stay positive and not completely worn out, but somedays it got to be too much. After meeting Carmen, she became my example of what it means to work hard and never stop fighting. Her determination to help others and to work 50 hours a week is admirable. I will always think of her when I am feeling too tired, and remind myself that there are people like Carmen who never stop going even when they reach their limit. Carmen has opened my soul to being more personable and spritely in uncomfortable situations. She has also made me realize that you do not need to speak the same language as a friend in order to have a strong human connection. We barely speak to each other, but we still smile, hug, and make a point to let the other know that we love and care for them. It's a beautiful connection that I have not felt or shared with many people in the past.

I hope to be able to visit Carmen in Juarez, especially since she's invited me over multiple times now and has offered to cook me any meal and food item that I want. Like all Latino families, she is very hospitable. Carmen will always be one of my role models, heroes, and friends. There will never be a border separating us.

(P.S. Erika, if you're reading this, don't forget to send me the recipe for the gorditas. I'm totally making those little guys in the near future :))

Making the gordita shell with Erika!

I was excited! :D

The finished product! Take note, mom and dad, because you're trying these.

Human connection and freedom of space IS wealth

Erika, me, and Lilly "singing" karaoke at our community night. Notice how the word singing is written.

I had the kids make ice cream at the program! The middle and high schoolers helping

I love this little guy. He is so cute!

Cutie!!!!!!!!

The ice cream chaos was fun and delicious

The elementary kids made puppets on Wednesday. This picture is so great! :)

Human connection is one of the greatest gifts we are given. It is a gift that says so much, and requires little to zero words. My ability to have a connection with those around me has definitely strengthened significantly this summer, especially with a language barrier. I am always surrounded by people who either know zero English, or very, very little. When I mean very, very little, I mean that they can comprehend a minimum amount when spoken to, but are unable to communicate with it. The opposite is also present. I understand barely any Spanish to very little, and can communicate with only a couple phrases here and there. It's so annoying - while we're being honest! I have met many admirable, loving individuals. These are people who I wish to be able to share meaningful conversations. You know, more than just hello, how are you, it is hot outside, and any other small-talk topics.

If anything, these people have taught me that you do not need to be able to speak the same language in order to be friends.  There is so much joy that comes with smiling and being in each other's company. These feelings have been particularly emphasized while here in El Paso because I am not sure when I will next see these people. I have been making the most out of my time with them, and have put more energy into being happy, optimistic, and trying to show that I am in a good place in life. Which I am! Coming down here has been very impacting. However, just because there is a limited time with people does not mean that I want El Paso to be the only place where I put human connection into perspective. I hope to always be putting this feeling into action, but without thinking about it too much. There is nothing enjoyable that is forced practice. Simply sitting in silence with people is one of the best ways to show someone that you care.

One of the best relationships that has been built this summer has been with the middle and high schoolers in the program. It was definitely a gradual relationship, but I am very pleased with how it has turned out with the program coming to an end. I always thought that middle and high schoolers intimidated me, when in reality they just annoyed me because I had a hard time relating. Let's be real here, middle and high school is an overall awkward, not prime moment in a person's life. Some people enjoy it, but a majority would most likely say that those years were rough. I remember absolutely loathing my junior high and high school years. However, my loathing has brought much sympathy and empathy, putting myself in the shoes of teenagers became easier. The middle and high schoolers in the program are FANTASTIC young adults! I love every single one of them! There are those days when they test my patience, and when I have to be stricter than how I would like, but I still care a great deal about them. On those days when they are testing me, I'm strict because I care about them a ton, and want them to reach their full potential in the long run. It is a fact that a majority of these young adults do not receive enough discipline at home due to unstructured family situations. If one of the boys starts hitting someone or mouthing off, of course I am going to be firm. Hitting people and mouthing off will hurt THEM in the future. However, I make sure to always balance my firmness with positive reinforcement, letting them know that I care greatly about them. These young adults are truly phenomenal, intelligent, kind-hearted individuals. I hope they always know how fantastic they are, and all of their potential. They all have amazing potential for the future!

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Last Saturday the Border Servant interns had a community night that was very memorable! It was actually the first late night out the four of us shared together, other than White Sands trip. During the weeks we are usually in bed by 10, so it was a fun change :) We started off the night by going to the Border Servant house. Lilly made margaritas, and we all had the best conversations about social justice topics. These topics have become a norm while being down in El Paso, which I'm quite a fan of now! We discussed issues such as racism, the Trayvon Martin case, economic status, immigration, education, studying abroad, topics dealing with college and finding out where we're suppose to end up in the world, and other deep topics. It's so wonderful when you can sit down and have these conversations with people who share the same passions as you. We all brought very different perspectives about each topic due to our majors and experiences, but that is what made the conversations so well-rounded and interesting. One topic that we all agreed on with the exact same perspective was studying abroad and doing volunteer work either during or right after college. I mean, obviously we would agree, but we all discussed how important it is to integrate yourself into a time period of service and community. Not as to act as the "white savior" (in their case), but to just do something different and be a part of something greater than yourself. I personally feel like it is necessary for everyone to feel as though they contribute to society in some way. I know that I would like to share about my time down in El Paso with my future students, and stress the importance of doing something that contributes to a greater cause and bigger picture. We as individuals can only do so much to make a difference, but what we do will have a lasting impression wherever we go.

One of the other conversation topics that we talked about was what does it mean to be wealthy. We all know that there are various kinds of wealth: material possessions, family, friends, faith, etc etc. One topic of wealth we discussed related to our time in Border Servant, and that is the freedom of space. Most of the families who come to the places we are interning are either residing in the following living situations: a house that has been turned into 4 small apartments, an apt complex, or a large house with about 10-20 other people. While the chances of you feeling alone are very, very slim, it also has the potential of feeling uncomfortable. People who live in these types of buildings could potentially feel more comfortable and safer, especially if that's all they've known. However, there is a boundary line between comfortable living in claustrophobic living. Think about this, in the U.S. we absolutely adore our own time and private properties and personal possessions. We say much of the time, "I finally have time for myself" or "I have a free day, so I'm going to use my day how I want to." Think about how we would feel or think once this time was taken away. We look at it as time given to us, and anything given to us is "ours." What about the personal time that isn't given to people? Yes, this time is more cultural in the U.S., but it's definitely a type of wealth. Being in El Paso has taught me that alone time is rare in most cultures, and that most cultures are very much community-based and have zero personal time given. We are wealthy in that case. I was thinking about this the other day, and how challenging it would be to live with 10-20 other people in a house. Some of these other residents could be small children or babies. In the middle of the night, babies still need attention and they cry and act up like all babies do, but with zero personal time and no sense of privacy and living in those types of structures would be challenging. It has given me a whole new appreciation of freedom of space. We are very wealthy and privileged in that sense.

We played a few rounds of Taboo, which was...interesting after margaritas... One of the best conversations during the game still stands out to me:
"It's the type of dog that is in the movie Beethoven!"
"Uhh...ohh...crap! I know this I swear I do!"
"Uhh... holy holy holy! I am a...?!"
"VIRGIN!"
(The answer is Saint Bernard. But hey, you were close.)

The four of us then went to King X Bar for karaoke. Some videos were taken of our "singing" and, let's just say, that I hope no one ever gets ahold of those. It was so much fun having this time with my roommates. We did a quick midnight Micky D's run and went back home to sit in the kitchen, eat our food, talk, and feel ashamed of the videos from karaoke. I will never forget that community night, and how pretty El Paso looked. (Erika, Erin, and Lilly, if any of you are reading this, I'm so glad we shared that night together! Love you ladies!)

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 My time in El Paso is sadly coming to an end. I have only 10 days remaining down here, and I've unintentionally been more emotional about this. Most moments I'm very happy, and sometimes I'm very sad. Justin and I have shared more office talks, and he continues to open my eyes and heart to new insights. I'm going to miss our Cristo Rey office talks. I've also had more in-depth, personable talks with the middle and high schoolers, have continued to laugh on an hourly basis due to the cuteness of the children, and have loved every minute with my roommates. Subconsciously I am very much aware of my time remaining, but on the surface I continue to live during the days and not just exist. We had our final pool day of the summer program yesterday, which was surprisingly cold and rainy! (and by cold I mean 75 degrees) It rained all day and it was very comforting! The mountains looked beautiful with the clouds resting on the top. Life here is a wondrous adventure, and everyday brings a new surprise.

I was leading the web activity with the middle and high schoolers during the program this past Wednesday. If you haven't heard of the web activity before, look it up! It's amazing what conversations are brought to the surface. I love these young adults.

The elementary kids made puppets on Wednesday! These are the ones that we made to show as examples. Erin's name is Jesus, and he has a gold tooth. Mine is Margarita, and she has a cat sweater. Silly times at Cristo Rey