Happy 4th of July, errybody! So far, this has been one of the most relaxing holidays. We're all pretty pooped from these past couple weeks, so we're just resting and bumming around until the evening festivities begin. It felt great to actually not leave my bed until 11 this morning :)
Lately I have been feeling more feeling of thanks than love for the country. Hence the title of this post. In particular, I'm really thankful to have met all of these wonderful kids, their families, and also already starting to miss the kids! This feeling has started to come up due to the number of kids asking me if they'll ever see me again, or when I will be visiting them next. It's so adorable, but also so sad because I have no idea what to tell them. I've just been trying to sugarcoat my answer and respond with a smile saying, "You'll see me again before you know it!" Some of the kids have not been coming to the program lately, and their absence has made me feel quite sad. One of the middle schoolers in particular, Freddy, hasn't been here for awhile. He and his sister, Edith, have been visiting their grandma. The environment just feels different without him because he is such a sweet kid, and it's always a fun time talking with him. We have had some great conversations about horror films (I don't know what it is about kids here and their love for horror films), middle school drama advice, and life. Pastor Rose Mary has mentioned multiple times this summer that Freddy has changed a lot. He no longer fights or acts out his anger anymore. He is a really, really good kid. If he keeps up with his positive attitude changes, he will do wonderful things for the world.
It has been difficult hearing about the struggles and just overall shitty situations these kids have experienced. Some of it is so hard to digest, and wears me out the instant I hear about it all. My heart definitely hurts for them because I know that life should be a billion times better for them. They have experienced more hard times than I ever will. Some of the kids tell us these tough times on their own and through stories. It takes the wind out of you for a split second, but you still have to be able to provide opportunities for the kids to smile, laugh, feel comfortable, and have a safe place for them to be. One family in particular is going through the most messed up situation. I don't even know how to take in all of my feelings about everything they are going through. However, the one thing that they did say is that the church and youth programs are the only safe places for them. It leaves you with a feeling of such sadness but also reward to hear that a program you are directing is one of their only safe spaces. I love all of the kids in the family, and want them to feel safe and know that I'm an adult who they can trust and will be consistent during my time with them. Well, to be honest, I want that feeling for ALL of the kids. I can't imagine what it's going to feel like not seeing these kids everyday. It already feels weird when one of them is gone for just the day.
I wanted to write down some of the lol moments I've had with the kids. These conversations made me laugh and smile just thinking about them as I wrote them down. Most are with the kids, a couple were with my staff friends Erin and Justin. I know you might think "Um that's not funny" while reading them (mostly because you don't know how the kids/Erin/Justin talk), but trust me, they were hilarious moments, and I want to remember them forever.
"One of them blondies was pulling her sheets out of the dryer. And on one of her sheet, there was a BIG 'OL ROACH!"
"Miss, what would happen if I put my finger in this outlet?"
"Oh, please don't do that"
"Too late, miss. I did it anyway."
"Sing! I know you know the words! *explicit language plays in song* But don't sing the bad words."
"Miss, that's the only part I know!"
*Get Lucky by Daft Punk comes on the radio*
"Oh miss, we can't leave the van until this song is over! *begins to car dance*"
"So Freddy, do you have a love interest in your life?"
*sounding extremely uncomfortable* "I don't want to talk about it, miss."
"Miss!! It's the cucaracha!!"
*giving Justin a chunk of dirt on the church floor* "Here Justin, I saw this and thought of you. Merry Christmas."
"Yeah I'll be sure to think of me when I see it too"
*to Justin as he backs out of the parking space in the big ol van* "Good job!!"
"Thanks, mom!"
"Whenever they forced us to go to the park in elementary school I would just sit under the tree and think, 'well sh**, this is fun'"
"So you were that child..."
"Yup, I was that child."
"Is there anyone behind me? I guess I'll just run them over if they are"
"Hey, that is not how I raised you!"
"But mooommm...."
"How many are you again, miss?"
"22"
"DAAAANG...."
"Miss Jennifer, how come you're so tall?" -said one of the 5 yr olds at work
"Weeee've come so faaarr to give uuuup who we aaarrre" -singing with Erin and Freddy in the van :)
Oh my god, mister. You are so weird, what's the matter with you" -all the kids to Justin
"Miss Jennifer, are you two cousins?"
"Us? (pointing to Justin and me)"
"Si, you two"
*at the same time* Me: "No." Justin: "Yes!"
in his Justin-like way: "We are so cousins!!"
(5 minutes later...)
"Miss, are you two dating?"
*at the same time* Me: "No." Justin: "Yes!"
in his Justin-like way: "We are! She just doesn't know it yet!"
"Miss, the other miss told me this!"
"Miss, your eyes are very Korean!"
On another note, music! There are quite a few songs that will forever remind me of El Paso. Most of these songs I've jammed to with my friends here, have heard on the radio, or have jammed out to with the kids. Some of these songs include: Get Lucky by Daft Punk, The Way by Ariana Grande, Thrift Shop, Clarity by Zedd, I Love It by Icona Pop (this one is ALWAYS on the radio when we're driving), Hips Don't Lie by Shakira, Treasure by Bruno Mars, and Love Somebody by Maroon 5. However, I will always think of Freddy and Cristo Rey whenever I hear Get Lucky by Daft Punk. I don't think Freddy fully understands the lyrics, but he's definitely a big fan of the beat. Freddy always proclaims, "We can't leave the van until this song is over!" whenever it comes on the radio. Then we car dance together.
I want to say real quick that I'm very proud of my roommate Erika, and all of her hard work at Kelly Memorial Food Pantry, and Justin, the silly guy who I am honored to work with. Erika is working at the biggest food pantry in El Paso, and she sometimes has up to 500+ people in need of food visiting and asking for food per day. Erika uses her spanish confidently and effortlessly at work, and even communicating for Erin and me if we need assistance. She's definitely had an eye/heart-opening experience working there, and is always coming home telling us shocking stories about the clients and other volunteers at the pantry. You're doing an amazing act of kindness by feeding the people who are homeless in El Paso, Urrika :) Totes proud of you and your lovely soul! You were definitely meant to come here and serve at Kelly Memorial! Justin, I'm so proud of you too! You also have a lovely soul. Can't say enough how honored I am to call you a friend, and how much I look up to you! You're an excellent role model and the best cousin/boyfriend combination! :P Thank you for being such a great mentor during those first couple weeks working at Cristo Rey. I wouldn't be feeling nearly as confident and prepared to fit this position without you. Of course you're an overall terrific mentor for life. You listen as well as you give advice. Hope you know that you deserve more self-care time and IT IS OK TO SAY NO TO PEOPLE SOMETIMES :)
I am excited to see how these 4th of July festivities unfold this evening. It's neat to see how other parts of the U.S. celebrate holidays. Lilly and I were talking about this one time, and that 4th of July can be a commercialized holiday. Barbecues and fireworks are a must, and then what? I don't know how big the 4th is considered down here in a border city, so we shall see :) Hope everyone has a wonderful day with their family and friends!
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| Had the kids make these yesterday at the program. They actually turned out pretty good! |
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