Love from the Border: This isn't suppose to be my last time in El Paso

El Paso Zoo waterzone area...soaked. So fun!

S'mores via stovetop!

Out to dinner with Black Forest and Cristo Rey!

The title of this post seems to be a common theme of a typical day here in El Paso. It isn't something that I haven't really processed, mainly because I haven't had much time to even think that way. That is why this realization has left such a warm, thankful feeling.

Recently, I have felt pretty bombarded from work. I love my job, the kids, and that the program is able to provide a safe place for the kids who come. The kids seem to be enjoying themselves, and also seem to be getting along with each other and me. This week was chaotic because I felt like I had zero time for self-care. Although it has been worse this past week due to the kids attending vacation bible school, this job can be draining overall. Last night was wonderful in the sense that I did literally absolutely nothing but laundry :) I have been waking up at 7 a.m., and then the work days ended around 6:30 or 7 or sometimes later. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of moments of fun, but fun is way different than self-care. Self-care is crucial when you're a director of a program, and just any job/lifestyle in general. People are always approaching me left and right, and there is not a minute that goes by during the day when I'm not on spotlight. The main staff of the church is always looking for me and asking me questions about confirming all things related to the program. It is tough cookies being a director. It's tough, but very, very fun and rewarding! Lately I've been trying to stop, think, and live in the moment of what is actually going on. I have those moments when it's easier to do that than others, but it's something that I tried to work on during this past week.

One of those moments took place this past Thursday when we took the kids to the zoo. It started out as very stressful, but turned into yet another extremely memorable afternoon with everyone. First of all, there were about 55 people that I had to plan for. Well, let me tell you, that is not an easy number to work with. I've never planned a field trip before, let alone one for 55 people. It was definitely excellent experience and one of those moments when you just had to fake it until you make it. As you can imagine, packing and transporting all of those bodies to the zoo was the trickiest part. I really made an effort to sit down and carefully plan prior to the trip. At Cristo Rey, you just have to catch whatever is thrown and also be able to throw something back. When we all finally reached the zoo (after taking multiple vehicles), we had to then figure out where we were going to picnic it up. Luckily the zoo has a picnic location that is right next to the waterzone area. We gave every single kid lunch before we broke off into groups.

Justin and I were going to rotate taking groups. About that....totally didn't happen because his kids became very distracted and just wanted to stop and see every single animal along the way. After sitting for over an hour at the picnic bench in 106 (or 108...I can't remember) degrees, one of the middle schoolers came up to me and said in a super innocent voice, "Miss, you look warm and hot. Are you ok?" and I said "Yeah, I am actually very hot right now." Well, before I knew it, the little punk took his water cup and just splashed me! It felt soooo refreshing! I called him out, took my cup, and chased after him. He ran right into the waterzone, and I ran right in after him. We began to fill up our cups together and started splashing each other. It was so much fun!!! It was the first time that this middle school boy and me could actually let loose together. I didn't care that I was getting wet, perhaps causing a scene, or even being a bad example for Felipe (the middle school boy). We were having so much fun together, and for the first time this week I felt like I was being my goofy self with the kids. Before we knew it, every single kid joined in with us at the waterzone. We were all SOAKED and still wearing our clothes. Justin and Erin joined in the fun, which made it even better. Justin was especially goofy to watch because together we would gang up on certain kids and just splash them hardcore. I absolutely love those moments when I feel like I can let loose with the kids and just be silly, not their program director. It reminded me of last Thursday when we took the kids to the pool, and how much fun we all had together goofing around and enjoying ourselves. One of the kids told me at the zoo, "Wow Miss Jennifer, you're really fun when you're silly!" It was the best compliment I had heard all week.

One of my favorite parts about my time down here in El Paso has been the amazing people. I've had the privilege of meeting many wonderful individuals. As cheesy as this sounds, I honestly feel like my mind and heart expands significantly whenever a new person walks into my life. It doesn't matter how long I am with that person either. My time down here is very precious in the sense that I make sure to truly enjoy moments with the people I meet and am with. One woman who has greatly impacted my life down here is Carmen. Carmen is an older woman, and she lost her daughter this past February to some severe health complications. She is such a sweet, kind-hearted woman. There is a language barrier between us, unfortunately, and I really wish it didn't exist. I have all of these thoughts and meaningful conversations that I want to be able to share with her, and she has tried to tell me the same. She did, however, tell me in Spanish that she is going to miss me and all of the Border Servant people when we leave. It made my heart feel so sad hearing that. The feeling couldn't be more mutual! Carmen has done a great job at stepping in and acting as a mom during my visit. When I had pretty severe heat stroke, she took care of me, bought me 2 kinds of gatorade, made me soup (side note: it was delicious), and has done much more to make sure that our visit and living in the church is comfortable as possible. I hope to someday be able to converse a little bit more with her, and perhaps see her again later when I next visit. It's hard to explain, but there is something about Carmen that just automatically makes you love her.

Recently, I have also had the privilege of meeting and getting to know Pastor Rose Mary's oldest daughter, Ariella. She is only 14 years old, but acts/looks way mature. It's kind of mind-boggling with how mature she is. Ariella comes across as quiet, intense (not in a bad way), and serious at first, but once you get to know her and make her laugh she is one of the funniest/sweetest around. We had water balloons for the kids yesterday during the program. Ariella and I filled them up, and couldn't stop laughing at how we were failing miserably at filling them up. The balloon would either break, snap, or squirt water all over us. We ended up getting soaked just filling up the balloons. Freddy, one of the middle schoolers in the program, came inside and helped us. The three of us could not stop laughing at our horrible luck with those balloons. We put all of the balloons in this cooler on wheels to make it easier to carry. Ariella had the cooler, Freddy was holding his two water balloons, and I luckily had free hands. When we were crossing the street, the cooler tipped over and all of the balloons rolled out of the cooler! It was funny watching them roll out because they were all bouncing and just kept on going. Ariella and I just laughed at the ridiculousness. Freddy tried to stop the balloons by running in front of them. He was still holding his two balloons, and put his arms out in front and just proclaimed, "I got this, you guys!" Of course that didn't help the cause, and Ariella and me kept laughing at our superb luck. We were able to collect all of the balloons and put them back into the cooler. None of them popped or broke, luckily! (Ariella, if you're reading this, I'm so glad we've gotten to know each other and have talked more. You're so great!) The kids had fun with the water balloons. One of the high schoolers came up from behind and broke a balloon over my head. A couple other kids came up and threw them at me. Again, I was drenched. Water is a big thing for the kids down here. It's for sure cultural, and it's pretty awesome! :)

A border immersion group from Colorado Springs was visiting Cristo Rey this past week. Their church is called Black Forest. They were a really fun group! One of my favorite groups that have visited. This could be the fact that there were only 5 people total, so it was a more personable meeting. The girls who came were Aria, Kirsten, and Hannah. Rick and Karen were the two adult chaperones. Erika and I had a chance to talk with the group on a more personable level. The girls, Erika, and I stayed up making s'mores one night. Erika's excitement for making them over a gas stovetop was definitely appreciated :) Black Forest also helped out with the summer program, which was very nice of them. They taught the kids how to paint flowerpots and also plant seeds, had a bible study, and also chaperoned when we went to the zoo. Pastor Rose Mary and her whole family, Black Forest, Justin, Erika, Pat (the church secretary) and her family, Carme, and myself all went out to dinner on Black Forest's last night in El Paso. We all had a great time and enjoyed each other's company. Poor Erika had some type of reaction to a spice in one of the foods, but she didn't let it ruin her night! (Erika has an awesome personality that way). Erika, Justin, Ariella, Sharon (Pastor Rose Mary's middle daughter), Aria, Kirsten, Hannah, and I all sat at one end of the table. The rest of the adults sat on the other side. Our side definitely had a lot of laughs and great conversations. It was overall a really great group to spend the night with. Justin, Erika, Aria, Kirsten, Hannah, and I stayed up and made s'mores together after dinner. It was my favorite night of this past week!

At the summer program, parents take turns volunteering to bring snack for the kids. The best snack was delivered yesterday at work! This is literally what happened. Angeles (one of the sweet girls in the program) came up to me and said "Miss Jennifer, my mom brought the snack" and when I walked into the kitchen I see this giant pizza. Sonia (the mother) says to me with her accent, "For the kids, I bring rice and chicken nuggets. And for you and Erin, I bring pizza!" I was shocked! She actually bought Erin and me this pepperoni pizza! I said "Muchas gracias" I think so many times. Sonia then said, "You and Erin work hard, so I bring you pizza." Other than just this pizza incident, I think this happens pretty frequently in the culture down here. People are really nice about being hospitable and generous. It's not uncommon for people to be like, "Hey, I have all of this food, so I'm giving it to you." This has happened to us on multiple occasions, and we have received food items such as cake, rice and beans and other homemade Mexican dishes, fruit, vegetables, and now pizza. The other three can vouch for me when I say that this has never happened to any of us elsewhere.

After much thought and prayers, I have realized that coming down here has been one of the best, if not the best, things to ever happen. I can remember during busy senior year of college and thinking "I really need to do something that I'm not use to and be somewhere new," and it could not have worked out more perfectly. You always find yourself in the places you've never been to or imagined yourself ending up. However, that only means that you were meant to end up there. Sometimes I think back to how I was even during this last year of school, and the amount I've changed since then is immeasurable. The present has been the best thing to ever happen, and the future can only get better, right? I know within me that this isn't suppose to be the last time I'm in El Paso. Coming here has opened my eyes to so many issues, awarenesses, and culture shocks. It's an opportunity that I never imagined myself experiencing. I thank God everyday for the chance to have all of these moments, and I've been learning to see all of the good that is found in the darkest areas.

I have been heavily considering starting a life for myself down here. Everything about El Paso is so different from the midwest, but there are differences that I really enjoy. It's so good to put yourself in a situation that is new and unfamiliar. The unfamiliar is the most exciting because you have the ability to find a new self within the experiences. I care tremendously about the border issues now more than I did before. Prior to this trip, I heard many theories about border patrol, but never actually knew all of the logistics. It's been amazing learning about everything from people who have experienced various events that have a connection with border awareness. I truly hope that someday there will no longer be any divisions between cultures and countries. That is probably very idealistic thinking, but I have the right to think and feel that way. We are all entitled to our own opinions about issues and events. (I know my parents read this blog, so I just want to say that you both have done a great job at teaching me how to be open-minded and accepting of hearing BOTH sides of stories.) I actually met a middle school teacher last weekend at a barbecue, and he was able to tell me a little bit about the Texas school districts and what goes into the application process. I explained that I am trying to keep my options open, and he was very helpful with answering all of my questions and concerns. I don't know what will happen in the future, but it's nice to have some contact information from down here and be able to say that I have El Paso as an option. Overall, El Paso could not be treating me any better. Can't wait to see what is in store for this final month down here! :)